I’m once more trying to get back in the swing of things after a fairly busy past few months. Today’s eight is from a re-release of my historical vampire story, Mooner. This bit is when Bill, the naive upstart in the lumber camp, notices Tom, a reclusive, down-and-out fur-trader, in Red’s Saloon. While Big John and the others make fun of him, something about the older man seems off and not quite right. He’s not going anywhere, though, until he gets what he wants…
“What…what you want me to do for a drink?” At first it didn’t register that Tom had actually spoken. His voice was high and reedy and cracked the way the thinnest ice along the river did.
“What you want me to do for a drink?” His lips cracked when his mouth moved. A thin trail of spittle dripped off his lower lip and was quickly caught up by the tip of the derelict’s seeking tongue. The distant gleam in Tom’s eyes burned as his mouth formed the last word.
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Like many young men at the end of the 1800s, Bill signed on to work in a logging camp. The work is brutal, but it promised a fast paycheck with which he can start his life. Unfortunately, his role model is Big John. Not only is he the camp’s hero, but he’s known for spending his pay as fast as he makes it. On a cold Saturday night they enter Red’s Saloon to forget the work that takes the sweat and lives of so many men their age. Red may have plans for their whiskey money, but something else lurks in the shadows. It watches and badly wants a drink that has nothing to do with alcohol. Can Bill make it back out the shabby door, or does someone else have their own plans for his future?
11 thoughts on “WeWriWa: Mooner”
Oh boy, you’ve got me curious as to what is going on…how will this play out?
😀 Thanks! Glad it piqued your curiosity. It was fun to write – an odd little mix of horror, historical fiction, and probably a vague nod to a Eugene O’Neil one-act I liked a lot in college. Apparently I can never sit down and write something typical, LOL
Wow, great job describing the scene. And your blurb is excellent. ” It watches and badly wants a drink that has nothing to do with alcohol.” Hair-raising stuff there… 🙂
Aw, thank you! I try really hard on my blurbs, so I’m glad whenever they catch someone’s interest!
Wow, creepy stuff here, Stephen Kingish even. Great excerpt!
Thanks so much! Wow, what a compliment! 😀
Yikes! I don’t think I’d be hanging with Tom for long. Nicely creepy excerpt.
Thank you! And eh, he means well………sometimes 😀
Very creepy. Nicely done! Does the whole story take place in the saloon?
It does, yes! It covers the events that go on when Bill and Big John enter up until closing at the end of the night.
You did a really good job with the dialogue here 😀 I have a hard time writing dialogue and the nuances that accompany it. I think this might be my favorite line, “His voice was high and reedy and cracked the way the thinnest ice along the river did.” I really enjoy voice descriptions, and this line makes it seem as though something is awry with Tom. Either he’s upset, or he’s not used to talking to others. The last few sentences pain a very dark portrait of him, so I’m guessing he is a vampire. Did I guess right? 8D